What is Sleep Training?
What Sleep Training Really Is: Teaching Self-Soothing Skills Gradually and Gently
When most parents hear the phrase “sleep training”, an image immediately pops into their minds: a baby crying alone in a dark room for hours while parents are told to “ignore it.” This idea is often referred to as “cry it out”—and it’s one of the most damaging misconceptions in the world of parenting.
Because of this assumption, many families who are desperate for more rest hesitate to seek support. They fear that sleep training will harm their child, or that it means abandoning them at night. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
The reality? True sleep training is about teaching your child self-soothing skills gently, gradually, and with support every step of the way.
Let’s clear up what sleep training is not, what it actually is, why it matters, and how it can benefit both babies and parents.
What Sleep Training Is NOT
It’s not “cry it out.”
“Cry it out” (CIO) is a method where parents put their baby down and don’t respond until morning. Modern sleep training does not use this technique. In fact, for most families it’s too extreme and can damage the parent–child bond if applied harshly.It’s not about leaving babies to struggle.
Gentle sleep training involves checking, soothing, and supporting your child. Parents remain responsive, while giving their baby space to learn self-soothing skills.It’s not cruel or unsafe.
Studies consistently show that when done correctly, sleep training is safe and beneficial for babies from 6 months onwards. A 2016 randomized trial published in Paediatrics found that behavioural sleep training did not cause stress or attachment issues, and improved both infant sleep and parental wellbeing [link here].
The Risks of NOT Addressing Sleep
It’s important to also consider the other side: what happens when families don’t address ongoing sleep struggles?
For babies:
Poor sleep is linked to developmental delays, lower cognitive performance, and behavioural difficulties.
Chronic overtiredness raises cortisol levels, making it even harder for babies to settle or stay asleep.
For parents:
Sleep deprivation significantly increases risk of postpartum depression and anxiety.
Lack of rest impairs decision-making, mood regulation, and even physical health.
A systematic review in Sleep Medicine Reviews highlighted that untreated sleep problems in children are linked with long-term difficulties in emotional regulation and attention [link here].
Simply put: doing nothing can be more damaging than making a structured plan.
So, What Is Sleep Training Really?
At its heart, sleep training is:
A teaching process. Just like walking or talking, self-soothing is a skill babies can learn gradually.
Age-appropriate. It’s typically recommended from 6 months onwards, when babies no longer need multiple night feeds for nutrition.
Flexible and gentle. It doesn’t look the same for every family. Some methods involve short check-ins, others focus on routine shaping, while some centre on parent-led soothing with gradual withdrawal.
Supportive, not abandoning. Parents are present, responsive, and consistent. The goal is to help babies feel safe while developing independent sleep skills.
Why Sleep Training Works
Improves sleep quality for both baby and parents.
Reduces stress levels in the household. Parents feel calmer, babies feel more secure.
Supports healthy development by ensuring restorative sleep.
Strengthens family bonds — parents have more energy and patience, and babies thrive with consistent routines.
Final Thoughts
Sleep training isn’t about ignoring your baby. It’s about equipping them with skills they need to feel calm, safe, and capable of falling asleep on their own.
And perhaps most importantly: it’s about empowering parents. With the right plan, support, and reassurance, you can create calmer nights, brighter mornings, and a healthier family dynamic.
If you’ve been hesitant because you thought sleep training meant “cry it out,” I encourage you to look again. Gentle, responsive sleep training can be life-changing — for your baby, for you, and for your whole family.
