Letting go of parental guilt
The “Parent Guilt” Factor – Letting Go of Perfection for Better Sleep
Why “Parent Guilt” Steals Our Rest
If you’ve ever stayed up late folding laundry just because you felt “behind” , even when you were exhausted, you’re not alone.
Many parents, especially of children aged 0–10, carry a heavy sense of guilt. Guilt for resting. Guilt for not “doing enough.” Guilt for letting things slide. And often, sleep is the first thing to get sacrificed.
But here’s the truth: it is not selfish to prioritise sleep.
In fact, it is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and your child.
The Dangers of Sleep Deprivation – For Parents
Research consistently shows that chronic sleep deprivation in adults can:
Increase anxiety and depression risk by up to 60% (NIH, 2020)
Impair decision-making and emotional regulation
Lower immune function, increasing illness susceptibility
Reduce patience and ability to respond calmly to children
When you’re running on fumes, every tantrum feels bigger, every school drop-off feels harder, and every bedtime battle feels endless.
The Dangers of Sleep Deprivation – For Children
For children aged 0–10 years, consistent poor sleep can impact:
Emotional regulation – leading to bigger meltdowns and mood swings
Learning and memory – deep sleep is when the brain processes the day
Physical health – growth hormone is released during deep sleep
Immune system – tired kids get sick more easily
The American Academy of Pediatrics highlights that quality sleep is as vital for child development as good nutrition and exercise.
Letting Go of “Perfect”
Here’s the thing: many parents hold themselves to unrealistic bedtime ideals. You may feel pressure to:
Have the perfect wind-down routine every night
Ensure your child’s bedroom looks like a Pinterest board
Avoid any disruptions to the routine
But life isn’t a perfectly curated Instagram feed. Sometimes bedtime stories are rushed. Sometimes your child falls asleep in the car. Sometimes the routine gets skipped altogether.
And that’s okay.
What matters most is overall quality and consistency, not perfection. Your goal is to have enough nights where everyone gets the rest they need to feel their best, this allows for the occasional nights where things don't go to plan without having huge repercussions.
Practical Tips for Letting Go and Sleeping Better
Define Your “Good Enough”
Have a bedtime routine that works most nights, not all nights.
Aim for a realistic sleep window for your child, even if it’s not exact.
Prioritise Your Rest Too
Treat your bedtime as important as theirs.
Skip late-night scrolling or chores when you need rest.
Create Flexible Routines
Keep the core elements: wind-down activity, lights dimmed, consistent sleep space.
Let go of the extras that cause stress. Basically, keep it simple, short and repeatable.
Stop Comparing
Every family’s schedule, temperament, and needs are different.
Ask for Help
If sleep is a constant battle, seek guidance. Sometimes small tweaks make a big difference.
The Bottom Line
Sleep is not a luxury — it’s a biological necessity for both you and your child. By letting go of perfection and focusing on quality, you reduce stress, improve family health, and model to your child that rest matters.
If you’re ready to reclaim your evenings and mornings, I can help you figure out the right routine without the guilt.
Click here to book your free sleep assessment call to discuss my support options.
